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May 28th, 2007
08:21 pm
so im done posting on this journal, but im posting it here so im sure the person this is about, emily blaze, sees it.
you really are the most overdramatic person i have ever met, you're also quite superficial and incredibly bitchy.. i mean come on go cry on your livejournal because i was the only person brave enough to not hide the fact that i was having a really boring time at your dinner party? and disrespecting your house? really now how did i go about doing that..? sitting on the upside down device that someone else was sitting on 4 minutes beforehand? give me a break emily.. no better yet, give yourself one.
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May 18th, 2007
12:59 pm
so ive been feeling pretty empty lately, and im not entirely sure how i should go about changing that. i feel really bitchy and pathetic saying this but i said it to ronni and it felt like the [in the words of steven colbert] truthiest thing i had said in quite some time. i really wish one of the numerous people who i like to consider my good friends would step up. or something,. i dont really know i would just like to know theres somebody there.
Current Music: nin
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April 18th, 2007
02:16 pm
new livejournal
SteamEngeniusss
addddd
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01:37 pm
man, that anonymous thing was a terrible idea haha, all i can think about is who the hell it is who wants to be my damn friend. if youd identify yourself we could give it a shot. lol goddamnit i hate not knowing things.
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April 17th, 2007
07:20 pm
Anonymously leave a comment. In the comment, tell me two secrets. Tell me a secret that you've always wanted to tell me, good or bad. Tell me a secret about yourself/your thoughts/something else. No one will know who it is, so feel free to let loose.
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April 13th, 2007
11:49 pm
so things are reasonable i suppose.. i think it would be beneficial for me to just move back in with my mom, im not sure. im over here right now and its nice.. tomorrow i go to einsteins to get my paycheck/ask for my job back? i dont know, i've got a lot of explaining to do.. but i need a lot of money for prom and such, which i jsut realized how much i have to think about. i had no idea! haha i guess my quandarys about not doing drugs is kindof forcing itself upon me considering i have absolutely no money to spend on them lol.. but then again i also have no money for food or clothes or a new cell phone.. haha i may be sober for quite some time lol..
oh man listen to the cold war kids
Current Music: cold war kids
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April 7th, 2007
11:39 am
if this sounds like a broken record.. it is.. and this is a c/p of an entry from decmeber 21st... but i still didnt pull through.. but i am trying so so hard.
have a new set of priorities and i dont care who sees or knows them. i was reading my livejournal from the past two years and its incredibly easy to see how i fell victim to drugs. i was lost and confused and felt alone and didnt know who i was. but i noticed that my livejournal entries became less and less intriguing as time passed and i really do not like that. i know its just lj but it painted a pretty intense image in my head and i definately needed to be put back into perspective. i have all these theories that pot doesnt really ruin your mind. and i still think that, but why risk it? for what? for like an hour and a half of a pretty intriguing time? when i claim that all these facts are propaganda i truly believe it but i have nothing to base it on. im living my life as if i have a spare. i do not. thats why pot is illegal. to hide it from the people of the world who are too young to not realize that they only get one life. one chance to make it right. it makes me sad to think of the people who started smoking in middle school, because they didnt even get the oppurtunity to see that maybe pot isnt all its cracked up to be. its really humbling to say all of this so if you're reading it. please hold the 'i told you so's' because i still smoked more weed in a year then anyone reading this will smoke in their entire life and my mind is still just as functional, if not moreso, than most. i read an entry dated back in june that talked about me ignoring the signs that life was starting and that i was going to stop taking life for granted and rev myself up. well that obviously didnt happen, i got into drugs instead of life. well, here i am. 6 months later. able to rediscover that just in the nick of time. im not guaranteeing anything and im not about to say "in conclusion i vow to remain sober" because that wont work, especially considering the amount of pot i have stashed at my dads. but i am DEFINATELY cutting back, and i am definately taking it off my priority list. and one thing i can promise is this. i am not losing my life to drugs. i am going to college. i am in love. i am my own person. i am alive. and i am bestfriends with Danielle Chatelain.
goodnight everybody."
im trying so hard to start over.
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10:43 am
im not sure who will realize the pure irony and humor of this except for danielle... but yet again its april and im depressed. haha
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March 29th, 2007
11:16 pm
well well well
its been quite some time
i do not know whats been going on lately.. i think maybe me and ivana broke up? i dont know i just brought up a bunch of the issues and she kindof responded with a kissoff.. so i dont know,.. and then i came home and my dad started yelling at me and saying a bunch of shit about how im ruining everything.. cuz i dont take out the trash or do the dishes? i dont know, think im just gonna start saving money now so i can get the hell out of here. im really realizing how little i have, people-wise... i mean i burned the moms side of the family bridge.. my dads side is becoming fed up with me... ivanas done... pretty much driven away most of my friends.. i dont fucking know. i do have jon tho. through it all theres still jon. kfdjhhdfkjdhvfkwhedfkjheeee
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February 17th, 2007
10:09 pm
you guys want to know the truth?
life is tearing me apart.
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February 9th, 2007
04:20 pm
well, in short... i blew up my kitchen.. and my moms threatening rehab
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January 30th, 2007
07:48 pm
just when you thought jason had lost it all...
An Interpretive Analysis of Essay XI: 'Intellect' by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Emerson describes intellect as a substance that dissolves all other elements. A mental state not directly related to intelligence, but beyond it. He proves this theory by stating. “The first questions are always to be asked, and the wisest doctor is gravelled by the inquisitiveness of a child.” This indicates that intellect is not something that can be studied in school, or mastered with enough hours of practice or after so many trials. Intellect relates to intelligence in the same way insight does. It doesn’t. It’s something entirely different, despite all three being actions of the mind.
The next way Emerson defines intellect is; “Intellect and intellection signify to the common ear consideration of abstract truth.” This states that the man who has intellect is not the man who knows his multiplication tables, not the valedictorian of his school, and not the man with the most impressive vocabulary. The intellectuals are the people who know where to find truth. A man with intellect finds beauty in the overlooked and sees through the ignorance of the societanical drones. The intellectual refuses to allow himself to become a slave to the tyrannical system we call humanity. He see nature as his superior, yet feels no inferiority towards it. Inversely, he feels no superiority over anything, living or not.
Every intellect must view each encounter with an open-mind and form his thoughts through the ‘cycle’, as Emerson describes it, of, “You have first an instinct, then an opinion, then a knowledge, as the plant has root, bud, and fruit. The common man will either disregard the instinct and continue on in ignorance, or ignore the instinct and skip straight to the opinion or the knowledge and end up making a fool of himself upon his first encounter with someone who has spent the duration following through with his instinct until he has the basis for an opinion, then believed in the opinion enough to see it through to the stage in which it becomes knowledge.
“By trusting it to the end, it shall ripen into truth, and you shall know why you believe.”
Emerson claims that nobody has a higher thought capacity than anybody else. When he states, “The making a fact the subject of thought raises it,” he is saying that when something is spoken of, or written about, or even simply pondered, it becomes more important to the world as a whole. There is nothing different about this essay and one written by a child except for that this essay is the subject of much more thought than that of an inexperienced child. To further on this idea, Emerson states that “We are all wise. The difference between persons is not in wisdom but in art.” He goes on to talk about a person he met who took notice of his ability to write such beautiful language and commented on Emerson having had more fulfilling experiences than he had. Emerson clearly disagrees and goes on to compare the common man with great minds like Shakespeare. “Perhaps if we should meet Shakespeare, we should not be conscious of any steep inferiority; no: but of a great equality, — only that he possessed a strange skill of using, of classifying, his facts, which we lacked.” He is saying that we all have the brain capacity to think like Shakespeare. We all have the potential intellect to make the same observations. The only difference between us and him was his ability to paint such a picture with his words.
Emerson really starts to tie everything together when he compares truth to the air we breathe. He uses this comparison to explain the need for balance. “if a man fasten his attention on a single aspect of truth, and apply himself to that alone for a long time, the truth becomes distorted and not itself, but falsehood.” This demonstrates to us that if man spends too much time on one task, one subject, or one goal, that search for truth becomes too forced, too unnatural, so much so that it deteriorates the entire process leaving the thinker with nothing. “Truth is our element of life,” Emerson states, using this analogy to further depict the vitality of knowledge and to show that the ultimate goal of knowledge and intellect is truth.
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04:17 pm
you cant be sure if you are going up or down
expectations go out the window when mr. woman comes to town.
i am quite worried about my grades.. before my photography spree my grades were:
F,B,F,A,A,D: 2.0
now they very well might be:
C,C,F,A,B,F: 1.86
but i certainly hope they're:
C,B,F,A,A,D: 2.3
but i expect:
C,B,F,A,B,D: 2.16
lets see, now for the rest of my life.. i found out that i dont actually suck balls at work; just a little. that was a relief. i told tim [from work] he needed to go to coachella with me and hes considering it. ha that would be the best. im going to start writing down my ideas for photos because i get a bunch like every day but i never have a camera and then i forget them.
i've been becoming a lot more open minded to people.
ivana might be back in 26 minutes
tonight's special: paranoia with a side of despair
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January 25th, 2007
12:34 am
i am so conflicted with life right now.
the only constant i foresee is coachella.
i came up with this great idea and now im waiting for molly to read her lj and see what she thinks of it... except its 12:30 and i know she wont read it tonight. but man let me know what you think. and i mean.. we both have jobs so we dont have to half ass it. shiaaat im stoaked on that.
yet troubled.
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January 21st, 2007
03:35 pm
my heart has been stolen by a devil bitch named hetta.
what a satanic name.
what a satanic deathslut.
i miss my lady.
lidfhgjkefhgkjherglrgou4roghtr4glerghkjerhfgjkheoutrh4orhgo4hgo4igho5iho4i5hoi5oi5oih5o5ig5oigh4oihgoetghefjkvnkfvndkfvnkfdvnjnrkjhrjtvnkjnkjbv
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January 17th, 2007
05:08 pm
i really feel like i need some new people in my life.
thats not a slight against anyone currently in my life, i just need something new. someone new to get to know. someone new to get to know me. i dont know.
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December 29th, 2006
12:16 pm
i hate birthdays, so i figure i should use livejournal for what its good for..
telling people things you dont want to tell them to their face.
my birthday is in 21 days
january 18th to be exact
..if anyone over 18 is reading this, id appreciate a beer bong.
there only like 10 bucks at spencers.
that is all.
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December 21st, 2006
01:14 am
i have a new set of priorities and i dont care who sees or knows them. i was reading my livejournal from the past two years and its incredibly easy to see how i fell victim to drugs. i was lost and confused and felt alone and didnt know who i was. but i noticed that my livejournal entries became less and less intriguing as time passed and i really do not like that. i know its just lj but it painted a pretty intense image in my head and i definately needed to be put back into perspective. i have all these theories that pot doesnt really ruin your mind. and i still think that, but why risk it? for what? for like an hour and a half of a pretty intriguing time? when i claim that all these facts are propaganda i truly believe it but i have nothing to base it on. im living my life as if i have a spare. i do not. thats why pot is illegal. to hide it from the people of the world who are too young to not realize that they only get one life. one chance to make it right. it makes me sad to think of the people who started smoking in middle school, because they didnt even get the oppurtunity to see that maybe pot isnt all its cracked up to be. its really humbling to say all of this so if you're reading it. please hold the 'i told you so's' because i still smoked more weed in a year then anyone reading this will smoke in their entire life and my mind is still just as functional, if not moreso, than most. i read an entry dated back in june that talked about me ignoring the signs that life was starting and that i was going to stop taking life for granted and rev myself up. well that obviously didnt happen, i got into drugs instead of life. well, here i am. 6 months later. able to rediscover that just in the nick of time. im not guaranteeing anything and im not about to say "in conclusion i vow to remain sober" because that wont work, especially considering the amount of pot i have stashed at my dads. but i am DEFINATELY cutting back, and i am definately taking it off my priority list. and one thing i can promise is this. i am not losing my life to drugs. i am going to college. i am in love. i am my own person. i am alive. and i am bestfriends with Danielle Chatelain.
goodnight everybody.
Current Music: mopey mopes
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December 20th, 2006
08:56 pm
i hate to sound snobby but im going to start limiting the people i let myself smoke with. its just irritating getting high with people who don't understand, it convinces me that i don't understand. when im sure that i do. my list is rather small, so it should help limit the amount i smoke. because i realized that about half the time i smoke its irritating. right now my list consists of:
jon
ivana
alastair
amanda
theres more, and the list isnt do or die. but it doesn't matter that much really because as soon as winter break is over im going to start the decline of my drug use.
the february drum circle will be the last time i use a controlled substance until june.
goodday sunshine.
it makes me really happy that danielle is going to read this entry.
Current Music: modest mouse - "Blame it on the Tetons"
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December 9th, 2006
09:28 pm
i definately feel lost... i cant find anything to rely on anymore. i realize that i leve my life in phases. i start a new [hase and have a lot of fun with it then it crumblers because its not legit and im left lost an floundering.. still with no clue who i am.
and she doesnt help.
Current Music: shiny toy guns "le disko"
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